I’m writing this on New Years Eve. My house is a mess.
I know that a large amount of you just internally rolled your eyes and said something like “You don’t even know, girl!” thinking about your own mess, but if you could see the table I’m sitting at, you would understand. In front of me are pieces of five unfinished projects, my half eaten breakfast (it’s 1pm, mind you), two unwrapped Christmas presents (thanks to late arrival from Amazon), and my unopened Bible.
I’m also not looking at the extra bedroom and back porch (now both store rooms) where Shawn puts the explosion of boxes and everything non-Christmas while our house is in “Santa Mode.”
I remember times when the list in my head of what I am behind on and what I have dropped, who I have or was about to disappoint would feel like a dark avalanche descending on the ‘I AM JUST FINE’ declarations I was making to everyone around me.
I was not ‘just fine’.
I was rushing just barely in front of the expectations I had put on myself. About to be crushed by the weight of the responsibilities that no one could fulfill (except me, I thought, when I said yes to almost everything).
I would never finish all thing things I should.
I would always disappoint.
Why did I do this to myself?
I felt the suffocating grip of anxiety start to squeeze my lungs and heart as I looked at the mess I had surrounding me in the private corners of my home. My mind.
I am almost there again, right now.
Can anyone relate?
But I’m not there, today. Thank God. Because I can take a deep breath, breathe in His presence, and exhale His word.
In the years that I have struggled to undo that mind bondage, I have memorized His word and I know that no matter what I pick up, He is there with me. I ask Him now about what to pick up, and He helps me to carry it all…
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
I’ve memorized Psalm 23 is two translations-
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want (NRSV)
AND
The Lord is my shepherd, I. have. all. that. I. need. (NLV)
It gave me a fresh, new look at the entire psalm.
He loves me so much that even though I will take on to much, get overwhelmed, forget He’s there, He has already given me All. That. I. Need. wow.
My return to Him in these moments is a beautiful time for me to be reminded of his answer to Paul, when Paul asked to be healed of an “ongoing affliction” that God never did heal-
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Isn’t that great news? I don’t know about you, but I am a COMPLETE spiritual weakling…and according to this verse, He works best through fools like me!!! (and maybe you, too)
SOAP Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:9
S: (scripture)
Read the above passage and underline, highlight, or write down passages that stand out to you. Maybe re-read it a few times if that’s helpful.
O: (observation)
Write down things you observe about the passage. Maybe it’s a word that stood out to you, something the passage made you think about, or a question that you have.
A: (application)
Write down some ways that the passage applies to your life. Make it personal.
P: (prayer)
Take a moment and pray. Ask God to make the passage practical to your everyday life.
